Contentment Where Are You?

Once again, I have made a commitment that I did not keep. O wretched man that I am.... Any way, I had promised myself I would blog more but the demands of life and the roller coaster I call my life has seemed to choke out that commitment. Be that as it may, no guilt, no shame, I am on the blogging bandwagon again. I hope someone is reading this but if not at least I am giving voice to the things that God has put in my heart.

This week I started a new job. Not that I wanted a new job, but the old one seemed to be going broke and they had the nerve to "eliminate" my position. So for the last two months and thirteen days (but whose counting) I have been on the hunt for a new job. Thankfully I started Monday in the role of a hospice chaplain. Several people have heard me tell them of my new job and they have looked at me a little strange and then gave that disgusted look they give someone who deals with death. "Isn't that depressing?" they would ask. "How can you do that knowing that the people you deal with will be dead within a short time?" And honestly I can say no, its not depressing. In fact it's the opposite. When I begin to hear the stories of those who know their time is limited, it makes me want to live in a way that when it comes my time to depart this earth I can remember with fondness the life I have lived. Today's blog is a case in point.

One of my new patients is a 92 year old woman. At 92 she has led a an amazing life but she knows that the end is near. As I spoke with her and her husband she shared with me pieces of her life that blessed me to no end. She told me of a hard life that both her and her husband lived. They didn't have much money and they lived through some of the hardest times our country has ever seen. However even in the midst of their needs they found contentment. She acknowledge the fact that they worked hard growing up and through most of their adult life but at the end of the day they were happy. They had learned the art of counting their blessings and living each day to it's fullest. I could have sat and listened for hours of some of their life experiences but I had others to see so I was only able to stay and hour or so. But during our short visit I felt like I had walked onto Holy ground. No the house wasn't fancy or well decorated. In fact it was old, run down and dirty. But what made it Holy ground was the fact that I could see God in that place. Because of this 92 year old woman I heard from God. Over the last several months I had found myself becoming a complainer. Complaining about not having a job, complaining about what I had lost, complaining about how things hadn't turned out the way I had wanted or prayed. But at that moment with my new friend, I saw God at work. If this woman who was in the last few weeks of life with very little of what the world would call success could be content and happy then why couldn't I. I felt embarrassed and ashamed at what I had become. But Father, as he often does, gently reached down and loved me and directed me back on the path. So I am trying to rest more in the presence of Father and being thankful for the amazing gifts I have in my life. Am I rich? Not according to what the world defines. Is every area in my life perfect? Not by a long shot. But I am blessed by God and I can rest in that today. My journey is taking me down the road of contentment and I am committed to stay on that road and become a man who is thankful. A man who is strong, honest, courageous and thankful....

Something to think about!

Blessings
Ralph

You deserve to be happy

If anyone has been checking, they have obviously noticed that my blogging has been silent for quite a while. Well, there really isn’t an excuse other than my life has taken a drastic turn and I find myself facing life from a different perspective. I once thought I knew how my life would turn out, but some how it takes turns that you never would have thought or imagined. Fortunately, I am still alive and have found solace in family and friends. So my goal is to take the blogging mantle back up and express myself through my words and feelings once again.

Today’s blog reflects a conversation I had recently with a friend. My friend, like me has been through some hard and painful life experiences. Like me, some of my friend’s pain has been at the hands of other while some of the pain has been as a result of their own actions. As I talked with my friend they said something that took me by surprise yet reminded me of some of my own thoughts in the past. My friend was sharing some of their pain when they said “maybe I don’t deserve to be happy”. It brought me back to many of my own self limiting thoughts and the shame that I felt in the past (I wish I could say I never have them any more.) I assured my friend that God was not eternally mad at them and that their past didn’t have to dictate their future. Yes we do things that end up hurting people and creating pain but if those actions ended our future then who among us would have a future. It reminds me of the woman caught in adultery and then brought to Jesus. All of the religious leaders of the day were ready to condemn the woman (where was the man by the way?)and stone her to death. They brought her to Jesus first to test him on this seeming no brainer. They said to him in John 8 “"Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do you say?" Jesus didn’t answer them at first but bent down to write in the dirt. But the leaders wanted to keep pressing for and answer But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." If you know the story, you know that the leaders one by one dropped their stones and walked away. Jesus simple response to the woman was I do not condemn you, go and sin no more. All of us have fallen prey to sin and find ourselves guilty before God. None of us are good enough on our own, all of us, if we are judged by this standard, do not deserve to enjoy life or be happy. But that’s not the good news. The good news is that we are not condemned, we are loved. We are loved more that we will ever know, we are loved without doing a thing.

If you are reading this and you too have felt shamed, and guilty for the wrong that you have done and believe that you don’t deserve to be happy again. Let me assure you of the words of our Father, you are loved with an everlasting love.

I came across this video clip a long time ago but its words are so true. Please take the next 6 minutes and allow its words to sink into your heart. Go and celebrate the love the Father has for you.

Peace
Ralph

Hope-Don't Give Up

Hope is an amazing thing. With it, we can do just about anything. We can dream big dreams, make lots of plans, sleep deep sleep and smile at the world. Without it, you can not imagine making it to the next breath, you can not rest and great sadness covers your every thought. Hope is what we all hold onto when we wake up each morning and face the day. Recently I was challenged to fill in the blank to the following statement; I hope that _______. I had to think long and hard about this because I suddenly had the stark realization that I had lost my hope. The words seem to rattle around my mind trying to find something to hang at the end of that statement. I hope that ………. As others filled in their blanks I could barely hear what they were saying as my thoughts raced to the things I hoped for. It was a very dark place as I searched for something that I could hope for. I thought about all of the things that I hoped for in my life and how many of them had died or disappeared into nothingness. My thoughts raced through my memory bank of scripture verses and biblical accounts. My mind landed on the story of the prodigal son who selfishly demanded his share of the inheritance only to squander it on unwise living. It was at the point of craving the slop given to the pigs that he had hope. Hope that if he could just go back and live as a servant in his father’s house he would make it. His hope wasn’t to be restored to honor; it was merely a hope that he could live the rest of his life in servitude to his family. Of course if you know the story, the father restored more than the son could imagine or hope. Instead of being restored as a slave, he was restored to a place of honor as a son. Even the small bit oh hope that the son had was enough to carry him to places he could not have imagined or dreamed. But he had hope. It was not much, but it was hope. The second story that came to my remembrance was the story of Job. A man who at the beginning oh his story had a great hope. He had been blessed with great wealth, a great family and great promise for the future. However, Job finds himself in a place where everything he had, wealth, belongings, servants and family was whipped out in a blink of the eye. The amazing thing was that Job never lost hope. His friends accused him of great sin, his body was racked with pain, and even his wife lost all hope and told Job to “curse God and die”. The life that was so full, the hope that was so real, everything he possessed had vanished for almost everyone. Everyone but Job that is. Job didn’t know all hope was lost. Instead Job held steadfast in the midst of all of his tragedy and said that though He slay me, yet will I trust him. Job somehow was able to find hope in the midst of his tragedy. As I was trying to process these two stories I thought to myself that I needed to find this kind of hope. Even if it was a small bit of hope like the lost son had I needed to find it. So once again I fired up all brain power to finish the statement “I hope that _______. However I still could not find anything to fill in the blank. I couldn’t find even the smallest thing that I could hope for. So I spent the next several hours thinking what could I hope for. Finally, with the help of a friend, I came to the place that I could say, I hope that I can come to a place in my life that I have hope. While I know this is not a great breakthrough or a spiritual mountaintop, it is a place to start. Like the lost son I hope to find that place and have hope to move, to breath, to dream and to live. So what do you fill in the blank today? What do you have hope for? Fill in the blank and let me know what you are hoping for. I hope that ________.

Think about it,

Peace,
Ralph

Are you thankful?

As we approach the day of Thanksgiving I am sitting here thinking about things I could be thankful for. However, as I do I think about all of the things that have happened in 2008 and how many of them overshadow and darken a heart of gratitude. There have been many things that have broken my heart this year and left me wondering where the good in my life is? I have thought about this for a long time, maybe too long, and have thought how can God do as he promised and “work all things together for the good”? Many Christians typically use this phrase when they know someone going through an extremely hard time and they don’t know what to say. It is in these situations they say things like “God won’t give you more than you can handle” or “God must have something really good in store for you’ or one of my favorites “Good is good, all the time”. While I agree with all of these in principle, it is hard to find value and solace in these statements when you are broken and bleeding. It is in those “dark nights of your soul” when it is hard to see any good and be thankful. Don’t get me wrong, I have so many things to be thankful for this year; friends (love you more) , family, fighting cancer and winning (so far), I have a job I love, …..So many things. But even in the midst of these things I still find it a struggle to give thanks. Maybe you too have come to this holiday and wish it would just disappear or even better you would be able to just disappear. I know these feelings have been very prominent in my thinking pattern of late. However, the other day I was talking with a friend and I said something that I wasn’t sure I meant or it just came out from religious habit. I said something to the fact that you never know how something is going to turn out so you can’t allow it to steal your joy and gratitude. Who knows if that lost job will lead you to something bigger and better. Who knows if that broken relationship might lead you to a deeper dependence in God. The truth of the matter is we have no idea how things that seemingly seem bad in our life could turn out for the good. I think to the story of Abraham and Isaac. God had asked Abraham to sacrifice his one and only son, a bad thing. But Abraham knew that obedience to God was a good thing so he followed God. If you have read the story, you know that Abraham took Isaac up the mountain and laid him down to be sacrificed. But as Abraham raised the knife an angel of the Lord called to him to stop. The angel then gave Abraham a great blessing; “I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore.” You see, what Abraham thought would be bad (losing his son) ended up to be a blessing to him and to all of Abraham’s descendants. To me, one of the lessons we can learn from this is to never see something in your life and label it as bad and the end of your life. Only God knows what can be done with the pain and brokenness of your life. God is still in the business of giving us beauty for ashes. So if you are in that same place I have been and are down, depressed and alone. Don’t forget that the end of your story is not written. What is broken today may be the seeds of a great healing and restoration in the not so distant future. Stop labeling everything bad and good and allow it to be what it is. Find something that you can be thankful for today and know that tomorrow is a brand new day and the rest is still unwritten.

Peace,
Ralph

Are You Lonesome Tonight-2

I have been looking at the idea of loneliness and what it means for a person to struggle with being lonely. I talked last time about what I think the core of loneliness is. What I think, and what I have experienced, is that the essence of loneliness is isolation. Isolation from people and isolation from God. This concept implies that if we are lonely then it is a choice on our part. It is the person who is lonely that has chosen to isolate themselves from those around them and from God. I also stated last time that even though we isolate ourselves from others, the issue of isolating ourselves from God is the primary cause of our loneliness. If I am honest, I have been in a season of loneliness. I find I despise the moments that I am all alone. When I am home and there is no one to talk to, tell my story to, cry with or confide in I feel very empty and alone. In theory, I know that I have friends I can call or that God is with me. In theory, that is true but in practice I can still feel the sting of loneliness. I know and understand that I have to be comfortable with being alone but it is so hard. I have tried all of the religious recommendations of just praying more, reading my bible more, listening to Christian music but it doesn’t seem to help. What I have found helpful is opening up my heart and just crying out to God. God already knows what you are feeling but He wants you to draw close to Him and allow him to fill those broken and empty holes in your heart. I know that I have many wounds and heartbreaks that cause me to withdraw and isolate. But if I can just acknowledge the pain, be honest about it and bring it to Father then, and only then, can I begin to come out of the darkness of loneliness. It’s scary and hard because our tendencies are to avoid those things that bring us the greatest pain. But it is when we take that pain and open it up before God that we see loneliness withdraw and intimacy with God fill our hearts. God knows out hurt, He knows our pain and he doesn’t want us to isolate ourselves and hide with it. He longs for us to run into his arms and allow him to heal our hearts and fill the voids. So are you lonesome tonight? If you are, stop hiding and take your broken heart to Father. Let me know what you think,

Peace
Ralph

Perspective

I want to take a brief detour from talking about loneliness to visit a recent event.

Last week was a very challenging week for me. An incredibly amazing person left this world and is now in the presence of God. You would think that a person would get used to the process of life and death but I have to say that after 20 plus years of ministry I am not. Holding hands, crying, reminiscing and seeing a person so full of life take their last breath. It’s a sacred moment when someone passes from life to death. From flesh and blood to spirit. Sacred yet painful. But death is a beautiful mystery, an amazing transaction. Paul gives a great description of this process in 2 Corinthians 5;

“For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven.”

While we who are left behind are faced with the loss of a loved one, those who have perished are celebrating this amazing transition. From an earthly, pain filled, body to a glorious “dwelling from heaven”. I must admit that as I walked with the family through this death I was deeply grieved and broken. Because of their needs, I remained strong while with them but privately wept at the loss of this dear woman. The sting of death is real; the pain of loss is indescribable. There is no way we can deny this pain. However if we are able to take an eternal perspective, a glimpse from heaven, we can see that death has lost its sting, death has lost its victory. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 15 speaks to this idea.

“For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, "DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory. 55 "O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?"”

It’s amazing how something so holy, so amazing, so glorious can still be so painful. Like everything in life it’s a matter of perspective. One event that seems to be devastating and hopeless can actually be something great. A moment of great pain can actually be the beginning of healing. It’s all a matter of perspective. If we could only for a moment look at life, and death, the way God looks at it. If only we could look ahead and see what our stories reveal. If only God would write out the plan so we could skip to the last page to make sure it all works out. If only…….. Remember it’s all a matter of perspective. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, whatever it is don’t forget to take a different perspective. God is still in the business of giving beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. Don’t be so lost in the now that you loose your way, loose your perspective. What you see as painful, hard, and devastating now may be just the thing that takes you into a new realm of living. Think about it.

Peace
Ralph

Are you lonesome tonight?

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Have you ever been lonely?

Loneliness is defined in the dictionary like this; Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Have you ever felt emptiness and isolation? Have you ever been alone? Being alone isn’t often categorized as a good thing. Being alone seems to indicate that there is no one who wants or desires to be around you. By that definition, who would want to be alone? However, I have discovered that you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. So the proximity of people does not seem to be the criteria for loneliness. Loneliness seems to be more of an indicator of isolation. Isolation from people but more importantly isolation from God. Loneliness is based upon the understanding that I am not enough to be around anyone or that anyone would want to be around me, including God. God assures us that first of all we are never alone. Hebrews 13:5 states “"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So if God never leaves us how can we truly be alone? And if loneliness is being isolated who was it that chose isolation? Was it our friends, was it our family, was it God? Of course the answer is none of those things. Because the only feasible answer is we are the ones who chose to live in isolation from God. But how does that happen, how do we intentionally isolate ourselves from the God of the universe? And not only how, but why? If you are reading this, chime in as we continue to pursue this idea of loneliness and isolation.

Peace
Ralph