Are you lonesome tonight?

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Have you ever been lonely?

Loneliness is defined in the dictionary like this; Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Have you ever felt emptiness and isolation? Have you ever been alone? Being alone isn’t often categorized as a good thing. Being alone seems to indicate that there is no one who wants or desires to be around you. By that definition, who would want to be alone? However, I have discovered that you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. So the proximity of people does not seem to be the criteria for loneliness. Loneliness seems to be more of an indicator of isolation. Isolation from people but more importantly isolation from God. Loneliness is based upon the understanding that I am not enough to be around anyone or that anyone would want to be around me, including God. God assures us that first of all we are never alone. Hebrews 13:5 states “"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So if God never leaves us how can we truly be alone? And if loneliness is being isolated who was it that chose isolation? Was it our friends, was it our family, was it God? Of course the answer is none of those things. Because the only feasible answer is we are the ones who chose to live in isolation from God. But how does that happen, how do we intentionally isolate ourselves from the God of the universe? And not only how, but why? If you are reading this, chime in as we continue to pursue this idea of loneliness and isolation.

Peace
Ralph

The Man in The Mirror

By the title of this blog you might think that I am a little vain. But truth be known, I have been know to take a few moments to look at myself in the mirror. I know that this may be a little bit too much self disclosure, but there is a method to my madness. After I had my surgery for skin cancer I couldn't help looking in the mirror. I would study what used to be my nose and the progress of a skilled plastic surgeon rebuilding me. However, over time I switched my look from my nose, or what was left of it, to my eyes. Once again, at the risk of disclosing too much information, I have to admit that I would look deep into my eyes and wonder who that man was looking back at me. I want to be true to my heart and follow what God has put into my heart but there have been days that I have not succeeded. What I have begun to discover is that I have surrendered my heart so much I forgot what it was that was in my heart that was so good. Over the years I have put my heart on hold so that I could please everyone else. I was more interested in their heart and making them happy that I forgot I had a heart. Now, because of all the trials, hard ship and tragedy I have experienced, I am wondering what it is that is in my heart. Many of my friends tell me I have a good heart but there are days I wonder. I wonder what it is I want. What good things are in my heart. I think about King David who got himself in some big trouble yet scripture says he had a heart after God. I want to have that kind of heart. Not the problems he had but the heart he had. I want my heart to be a heart for God. When I look in the mirror i want to see a man who is expressing his heart, the heart the God gave him. I want to be a man who is proud of who he is and who God made him to be. So at the risk of being vain, let me challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror. Look deeply into your own eyes and ask yourself are you the man or woman that God has made you to be. Are you expressing your heart? Think about it and let it challenge you today.

Peace
Ralph

Wrestling with God

I have had multiple opportunities to be alone over the last several weeks. In most instances, I would hate to be alone. I am a people person and I gain energy from being in groups and around new people. But much to my dismay there I was alone. As you might imagine, being alone with your thoughts can be a scary proposition. But in the midst of my thoughts I was faced with the reality of the question "what do I want". I was reminded of a man in the Bible who found himself alone with his thoughts and ended up wrestling with God.

24 Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But he said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." 27 So he said to him, "What is your name?"

Have you ever wrestled with God? Being alone seems to be a prime time to wrestle with God. It is at that point of being away from outside influences that you often find yourself wrestling with God. The interesting thing about Jacob's encounter with God is two-fold. First, Jacob was so determined to be blessed that he would not give up. I, like Jacob, want to be so desperate for God's blessings (wisdom, understanding, peace, etc.) that I am unwilling to give up until I find that blessing. The second thing that strikes me about Jacob's encounter is that his divine wrestling partner asks him his name. I find that so interesting because at that point Jacob could not hide who he was. Jacob (deceiver) was more than just his name, it was his way of life. He had been a deceiver his whole life. He was marked by his choices of deception. In this encounter, God does not shame or reject Jacob, He simply wants to make sure Jacob understands who he has been. Once Jacob proclaims who he has been (deceiver) God then gives him a new name and a new identity. Instead of being a deceiver he would now be a father of many nations (Israel). As I have been processing this story and thinking about the place I find myself in I too have been wrestling with God. And like Jacob, God has been asking me to understand my identity and who I have been. As I have confessed who I have become God has lovingly reminded me that even though that is what I have done, it is not who I am. I am a strong, honest and courageous man. That is who God has called me to be and that is how he desires me to live. Like Jacob, after he wrestled with God he walked in a way that reflected his battle with God. Though Jacob limped physically, I am finding myself limping emotionally. I don't think the wrestling match is over but I am finding a new resolve to hold on to God until I find that blessing. I refuse to be what I have been or live according to my old self. I will continue to wrestle and I will not let go. I don't know when I will come out on the other side, but I know I will and I know God is at work. So don't be afraid to be alone and don't be afraid to wrestle. Hold on tight and get ready to be changed.

Peace
Ralph

Are You Burning?

I have been teaching a study group on 1 Corinthians. It has been a great, but challenging study. Today we studied chapter 9. At the end of the chapter Paul talks about his passion for preaching the gospel

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run R354 in such a way that you may win. 25 Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air.

I am constantly struck by Paul's passion and commitment to the task he was called to. Earlier in the verse he say he would rather die than stop what he is doing. As I read those words I am challenged as to my passion. Most days it feels like I am going through the motions with very little fire or passion. I live my life but it feels like I am missing something. It feels like I am just surviving.

A few weeks ago I viewed the new Pixar movie called Wall-E. In the movie there is a scene where the people have evacuated earth because it has become unable to sustain life. After several years of living in the safety of there space home wall-e discovers that there is proof that life once again exists on earth. The captain of the ship is filled with hope because they can return to earth once again. However there are other forces on the ship that want to stop the ship from returning. The pivotal scene takes place where the captain is told that they need to stay on the ship so they can survive. The captain says "I don't want to survive, I want to live". That line echoed so deeply in my heart and reflects the truth Paul proclaims in 1 Corinthians. Paul lived his life in a way that could lead to pain, imprisonment and death. He lived with reckless passion with little concern for his personal safety or well being. Paul did not play it safe. He wanted his life to matter, he wanted to live not survive.

The question that you and I must wrestle with, is the question of passion. Are we living our life with fire, with passion, with reckless abandon? Are we, like Paul, running to win? If I am not careful, I can easily settle into comfort and habit. I like predictability and uniformity. I like knowing what to expect from myself and others. I can survive very easily like this. However, what I discover is that within a very short time I feel bored and empty. Surviving is not how our life was meant to be lived. We were made for purpose, for passion, for life. How are you living you life? Are you surviving or are you living? Are you running to win or are you OK with just showing up? I am wrestling with myself to find that place of passion. Am I OK with just settling or do I want to step out and run? Passion and fire are OK to talk about, but the truth of the matter is they can also create friction and pain. If you follow passion, it's not always comfortable or easy. You will be stretched, challenged and moved. But in the end if you follow the passion God has put into your heart you will find yourself in the midst of a place of amazing life and joy. So what's it going to be, survive or live? The only person stopping you from following your passion is you.

Think about it!

Peace
Ralph

This is your life

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

Most of our life we try to figure out who we are and what we want to be. From our earliest days people around us begin to ask the questions; "what do you want to be when you grow up?" For me, I know most of my life has been trying to live up to what was expected of me. I am one of seven kids and the only one who went to college. From my early memories I remember my parents saying "he is the smart one" or "he is our good child". So for as long as I remember I lived to please my parents and in some way gain value and worth if I did enough. However it never seemed like it was enough. If I would get all A's and one B the question would be asked about that one B. I know my parents loved me but inadvertently they gave me a desire to perform so I could be accepted, loved and valued. I don't blame them for my short comings, I just know that has become part of my emotional baggage. Even in ministry, I did all the right things, said all the right things, and acted in all the appropriate ways so I could please everyone and therefore be valued and approved. But in the end I struggle with the thought of who I am. Who am I really? Am I a good son, and obedient child, and good pastor, or .......... In my journey I am starting to understand that this is my life and it's up to me how I live it. No one can tell me what's right or good or perfect for my life. God has given me this life to live and there are no do overs.

I am teaching a lesson tomorrow on God being the giver of all life. I believe that to be true. In Psalm 139:14, the author writes; "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made". It was God's idea to create me and to make me the person I am. When he created me, he made me wonderfully and fearfully. If I believe that to be true then I have to take this gift called my life and live it to the fullest for God's glory. But as I ponder the question from this song, I have to wonder if I am who I was intended to be or who I wanted to be. Of course I would like to say 100% yes but the truth of the matter is I am not. My life has been ruled by expectations, plans and ideas of others. I have allowed others to influence me more than the creator. Even now, tears stream down my face as I think about wasted opportunities, lost chances and what if's. As I get older (no comments please) I have tried to escape from the approval of others. I have tried to throw off my addiction to approval. This is my life, my time, my gift. God has given it to me and me alone to live. The old saying is true "it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks". I struggle every day trying to live the life that God intended for me. Just when I think I am ready to move I get lost in the guilt and shame of what others might think of me. I know that many others wrestle with this same affliction. So join me in the journey, share your story and together lets live this gift called our life. "This is your life, are you who you want to be?"

Think about it!

Peace

Ralph

Fathers Love

A little over a week ago was Father's Day. As a father I love the idea of Father's Day. It reminds me of the joy, challenge, and honor it is to be a dad. I have been a dad over 19 years now and it never fails to make me cry when I think about my kids. I remember it like it was yesterday when my first son Christopher was born. His birth was much anticipated and celebrated. When the day finally came for him to be born I was a basket case. I didn't know if I would be ready to be a dad. My dad did the best he could but there were so many wounds and pain handed to me at the words of my father. I was afraid that I would never be able to love my child enough or give him what he needed. But the day came, ready or not. He was delivered via C-section and I remember the marvel of seeing him brought forth from my wife's abdomen. All I could do was weep as I saw this little human be delivered into this world and into my arms. All I could say was "my son". I wept like a baby as I held this child in my arms. It's that picture of love that has helped me understand the love of the Father. The Father looks at each of us and weeps with tears of joy because of his overwhelming love for us. It's like the Father calls out to us "my child' and weeps over us with joy.

I recently had lunch with a friend who was talking about the antics and phrases that a little child had shared. My friend had tears of joy as they shared the experience of interacting with this child. That is a picture of Father's love. He loves us and watches over us with great joy. Even when we stumble or fail Father still weeps over us with joy. He longs for us to know him and to experience his love.

Maybe this is not your experience as a parent or a child, if not I understand. But Father is wanting to break through our brokenness and our past wounds to help us see him in a new, life changing way. That's the Good News! Father loves us and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us less or to cause Him to love us more. Just like my little baby didn't have to do a thing to experience my love, neither do we have to do anything to experience and know the perfect love of Father. No matter where you are today or what you have done, Father is looking at you with love in his heart and tears in his eyes. He celebrates your life.

Peace
Ralph

Lost but not forgotten

OK, I know that it's been a while since I posted. Needless to say my life has been turned upside down and inside out. It's one of those times in your life when you are not sure if you will make it out alive and if you do if you will be in one piece. I can't get into all of the details at this point, but one of the battles I have been fighting is with cancer. I was told that I had a small patch of skin cancer on my nose and they would be able to remove it with a "routine" procedure. Why do they always call it routine when it doesn't involve them. Any way, after getting into this "routine" procedure and several hours later half of my nose was removed and I found myself cancer free but missing half of my nose. I was sent immediately to a plastic surgeon. Several procedures and several months later I find myself on cancer free and with a nose, though it does need some fine tuning. Crisis and tragedy are part of life but it can shake you to the very core of who you are. I wish I could say I have it all figured out now and my life is sunshine and rainbows. However, it is not. My life continues to be filled with heartache, struggle and pain. I have stopped trying to figuring out what God is up to and what it all means. Instead I know that whatever situation or tragedy I face it is not good or bad it's just life. God is with me and he loves with more than I will ever know. He may not rescue me from my pain or heal me of my disease but I know he is with me and he will never leave me or forsake me. These days, that's all I can know for sure. No matter who you are or what you are facing this truth is there for you too. I am not going to tell you that God will rescue you from your tragedy or that every thing is going to be OK. But the truth of the matter is it may not. But even in the midst of all these things don't forget that Father loves you with and everlasting, unending love.

Peace,
Ralph