Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Are you thankful?
As we approach the day of Thanksgiving I am sitting here thinking about things I could be thankful for. However, as I do I think about all of the things that have happened in 2008 and how many of them overshadow and darken a heart of gratitude. There have been many things that have broken my heart this year and left me wondering where the good in my life is? I have thought about this for a long time, maybe too long, and have thought how can God do as he promised and “work all things together for the good”? Many Christians typically use this phrase when they know someone going through an extremely hard time and they don’t know what to say. It is in these situations they say things like “God won’t give you more than you can handle” or “God must have something really good in store for you’ or one of my favorites “Good is good, all the time”. While I agree with all of these in principle, it is hard to find value and solace in these statements when you are broken and bleeding. It is in those “dark nights of your soul” when it is hard to see any good and be thankful. Don’t get me wrong, I have so many things to be thankful for this year; friends (love you more) , family, fighting cancer and winning (so far), I have a job I love, …..So many things. But even in the midst of these things I still find it a struggle to give thanks. Maybe you too have come to this holiday and wish it would just disappear or even better you would be able to just disappear. I know these feelings have been very prominent in my thinking pattern of late. However, the other day I was talking with a friend and I said something that I wasn’t sure I meant or it just came out from religious habit. I said something to the fact that you never know how something is going to turn out so you can’t allow it to steal your joy and gratitude. Who knows if that lost job will lead you to something bigger and better. Who knows if that broken relationship might lead you to a deeper dependence in God. The truth of the matter is we have no idea how things that seemingly seem bad in our life could turn out for the good. I think to the story of Abraham and Isaac. God had asked Abraham to sacrifice his one and only son, a bad thing. But Abraham knew that obedience to God was a good thing so he followed God. If you have read the story, you know that Abraham took Isaac up the mountain and laid him down to be sacrificed. But as Abraham raised the knife an angel of the Lord called to him to stop. The angel then gave Abraham a great blessing; “I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore.” You see, what Abraham thought would be bad (losing his son) ended up to be a blessing to him and to all of Abraham’s descendants. To me, one of the lessons we can learn from this is to never see something in your life and label it as bad and the end of your life. Only God knows what can be done with the pain and brokenness of your life. God is still in the business of giving us beauty for ashes. So if you are in that same place I have been and are down, depressed and alone. Don’t forget that the end of your story is not written. What is broken today may be the seeds of a great healing and restoration in the not so distant future. Stop labeling everything bad and good and allow it to be what it is. Find something that you can be thankful for today and know that tomorrow is a brand new day and the rest is still unwritten.
Peace,
Ralph
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Are You Lonesome Tonight-2
I have been looking at the idea of loneliness and what it means for a person to struggle with being lonely. I talked last time about what I think the core of loneliness is. What I think, and what I have experienced, is that the essence of loneliness is isolation. Isolation from people and isolation from God. This concept implies that if we are lonely then it is a choice on our part. It is the person who is lonely that has chosen to isolate themselves from those around them and from God. I also stated last time that even though we isolate ourselves from others, the issue of isolating ourselves from God is the primary cause of our loneliness. If I am honest, I have been in a season of loneliness. I find I despise the moments that I am all alone. When I am home and there is no one to talk to, tell my story to, cry with or confide in I feel very empty and alone. In theory, I know that I have friends I can call or that God is with me. In theory, that is true but in practice I can still feel the sting of loneliness. I know and understand that I have to be comfortable with being alone but it is so hard. I have tried all of the religious recommendations of just praying more, reading my bible more, listening to Christian music but it doesn’t seem to help. What I have found helpful is opening up my heart and just crying out to God. God already knows what you are feeling but He wants you to draw close to Him and allow him to fill those broken and empty holes in your heart. I know that I have many wounds and heartbreaks that cause me to withdraw and isolate. But if I can just acknowledge the pain, be honest about it and bring it to Father then, and only then, can I begin to come out of the darkness of loneliness. It’s scary and hard because our tendencies are to avoid those things that bring us the greatest pain. But it is when we take that pain and open it up before God that we see loneliness withdraw and intimacy with God fill our hearts. God knows out hurt, He knows our pain and he doesn’t want us to isolate ourselves and hide with it. He longs for us to run into his arms and allow him to heal our hearts and fill the voids. So are you lonesome tonight? If you are, stop hiding and take your broken heart to Father. Let me know what you think,
Peace
Ralph
Peace
Ralph
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Perspective
I want to take a brief detour from talking about loneliness to visit a recent event.
Last week was a very challenging week for me. An incredibly amazing person left this world and is now in the presence of God. You would think that a person would get used to the process of life and death but I have to say that after 20 plus years of ministry I am not. Holding hands, crying, reminiscing and seeing a person so full of life take their last breath. It’s a sacred moment when someone passes from life to death. From flesh and blood to spirit. Sacred yet painful. But death is a beautiful mystery, an amazing transaction. Paul gives a great description of this process in 2 Corinthians 5;
“For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven.”
While we who are left behind are faced with the loss of a loved one, those who have perished are celebrating this amazing transition. From an earthly, pain filled, body to a glorious “dwelling from heaven”. I must admit that as I walked with the family through this death I was deeply grieved and broken. Because of their needs, I remained strong while with them but privately wept at the loss of this dear woman. The sting of death is real; the pain of loss is indescribable. There is no way we can deny this pain. However if we are able to take an eternal perspective, a glimpse from heaven, we can see that death has lost its sting, death has lost its victory. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 15 speaks to this idea.
“For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, "DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory. 55 "O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?"”
It’s amazing how something so holy, so amazing, so glorious can still be so painful. Like everything in life it’s a matter of perspective. One event that seems to be devastating and hopeless can actually be something great. A moment of great pain can actually be the beginning of healing. It’s all a matter of perspective. If we could only for a moment look at life, and death, the way God looks at it. If only we could look ahead and see what our stories reveal. If only God would write out the plan so we could skip to the last page to make sure it all works out. If only…….. Remember it’s all a matter of perspective. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, whatever it is don’t forget to take a different perspective. God is still in the business of giving beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. Don’t be so lost in the now that you loose your way, loose your perspective. What you see as painful, hard, and devastating now may be just the thing that takes you into a new realm of living. Think about it.
Peace
Ralph
Last week was a very challenging week for me. An incredibly amazing person left this world and is now in the presence of God. You would think that a person would get used to the process of life and death but I have to say that after 20 plus years of ministry I am not. Holding hands, crying, reminiscing and seeing a person so full of life take their last breath. It’s a sacred moment when someone passes from life to death. From flesh and blood to spirit. Sacred yet painful. But death is a beautiful mystery, an amazing transaction. Paul gives a great description of this process in 2 Corinthians 5;
“For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven.”
While we who are left behind are faced with the loss of a loved one, those who have perished are celebrating this amazing transition. From an earthly, pain filled, body to a glorious “dwelling from heaven”. I must admit that as I walked with the family through this death I was deeply grieved and broken. Because of their needs, I remained strong while with them but privately wept at the loss of this dear woman. The sting of death is real; the pain of loss is indescribable. There is no way we can deny this pain. However if we are able to take an eternal perspective, a glimpse from heaven, we can see that death has lost its sting, death has lost its victory. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 15 speaks to this idea.
“For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, "DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory. 55 "O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?"”
It’s amazing how something so holy, so amazing, so glorious can still be so painful. Like everything in life it’s a matter of perspective. One event that seems to be devastating and hopeless can actually be something great. A moment of great pain can actually be the beginning of healing. It’s all a matter of perspective. If we could only for a moment look at life, and death, the way God looks at it. If only we could look ahead and see what our stories reveal. If only God would write out the plan so we could skip to the last page to make sure it all works out. If only…….. Remember it’s all a matter of perspective. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, whatever it is don’t forget to take a different perspective. God is still in the business of giving beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. Don’t be so lost in the now that you loose your way, loose your perspective. What you see as painful, hard, and devastating now may be just the thing that takes you into a new realm of living. Think about it.
Peace
Ralph
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Are you lonesome tonight?
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
Have you ever been lonely?
Loneliness is defined in the dictionary like this; Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Have you ever felt emptiness and isolation? Have you ever been alone? Being alone isn’t often categorized as a good thing. Being alone seems to indicate that there is no one who wants or desires to be around you. By that definition, who would want to be alone? However, I have discovered that you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. So the proximity of people does not seem to be the criteria for loneliness. Loneliness seems to be more of an indicator of isolation. Isolation from people but more importantly isolation from God. Loneliness is based upon the understanding that I am not enough to be around anyone or that anyone would want to be around me, including God. God assures us that first of all we are never alone. Hebrews 13:5 states “"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So if God never leaves us how can we truly be alone? And if loneliness is being isolated who was it that chose isolation? Was it our friends, was it our family, was it God? Of course the answer is none of those things. Because the only feasible answer is we are the ones who chose to live in isolation from God. But how does that happen, how do we intentionally isolate ourselves from the God of the universe? And not only how, but why? If you are reading this, chime in as we continue to pursue this idea of loneliness and isolation.
Peace
Ralph
Have you ever been lonely?
Loneliness is defined in the dictionary like this; Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Have you ever felt emptiness and isolation? Have you ever been alone? Being alone isn’t often categorized as a good thing. Being alone seems to indicate that there is no one who wants or desires to be around you. By that definition, who would want to be alone? However, I have discovered that you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. So the proximity of people does not seem to be the criteria for loneliness. Loneliness seems to be more of an indicator of isolation. Isolation from people but more importantly isolation from God. Loneliness is based upon the understanding that I am not enough to be around anyone or that anyone would want to be around me, including God. God assures us that first of all we are never alone. Hebrews 13:5 states “"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So if God never leaves us how can we truly be alone? And if loneliness is being isolated who was it that chose isolation? Was it our friends, was it our family, was it God? Of course the answer is none of those things. Because the only feasible answer is we are the ones who chose to live in isolation from God. But how does that happen, how do we intentionally isolate ourselves from the God of the universe? And not only how, but why? If you are reading this, chime in as we continue to pursue this idea of loneliness and isolation.
Peace
Ralph
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The Man in The Mirror
By the title of this blog you might think that I am a little vain. But truth be known, I have been know to take a few moments to look at myself in the mirror. I know that this may be a little bit too much self disclosure, but there is a method to my madness. After I had my surgery for skin cancer I couldn't help looking in the mirror. I would study what used to be my nose and the progress of a skilled plastic surgeon rebuilding me. However, over time I switched my look from my nose, or what was left of it, to my eyes. Once again, at the risk of disclosing too much information, I have to admit that I would look deep into my eyes and wonder who that man was looking back at me. I want to be true to my heart and follow what God has put into my heart but there have been days that I have not succeeded. What I have begun to discover is that I have surrendered my heart so much I forgot what it was that was in my heart that was so good. Over the years I have put my heart on hold so that I could please everyone else. I was more interested in their heart and making them happy that I forgot I had a heart. Now, because of all the trials, hard ship and tragedy I have experienced, I am wondering what it is that is in my heart. Many of my friends tell me I have a good heart but there are days I wonder. I wonder what it is I want. What good things are in my heart. I think about King David who got himself in some big trouble yet scripture says he had a heart after God. I want to have that kind of heart. Not the problems he had but the heart he had. I want my heart to be a heart for God. When I look in the mirror i want to see a man who is expressing his heart, the heart the God gave him. I want to be a man who is proud of who he is and who God made him to be. So at the risk of being vain, let me challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror. Look deeply into your own eyes and ask yourself are you the man or woman that God has made you to be. Are you expressing your heart? Think about it and let it challenge you today.
Peace
Ralph
Peace
Ralph
Monday, September 1, 2008
Wrestling with God
I have had multiple opportunities to be alone over the last several weeks. In most instances, I would hate to be alone. I am a people person and I gain energy from being in groups and around new people. But much to my dismay there I was alone. As you might imagine, being alone with your thoughts can be a scary proposition. But in the midst of my thoughts I was faced with the reality of the question "what do I want". I was reminded of a man in the Bible who found himself alone with his thoughts and ended up wrestling with God.
24 Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But he said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." 27 So he said to him, "What is your name?"
Have you ever wrestled with God? Being alone seems to be a prime time to wrestle with God. It is at that point of being away from outside influences that you often find yourself wrestling with God. The interesting thing about Jacob's encounter with God is two-fold. First, Jacob was so determined to be blessed that he would not give up. I, like Jacob, want to be so desperate for God's blessings (wisdom, understanding, peace, etc.) that I am unwilling to give up until I find that blessing. The second thing that strikes me about Jacob's encounter is that his divine wrestling partner asks him his name. I find that so interesting because at that point Jacob could not hide who he was. Jacob (deceiver) was more than just his name, it was his way of life. He had been a deceiver his whole life. He was marked by his choices of deception. In this encounter, God does not shame or reject Jacob, He simply wants to make sure Jacob understands who he has been. Once Jacob proclaims who he has been (deceiver) God then gives him a new name and a new identity. Instead of being a deceiver he would now be a father of many nations (Israel). As I have been processing this story and thinking about the place I find myself in I too have been wrestling with God. And like Jacob, God has been asking me to understand my identity and who I have been. As I have confessed who I have become God has lovingly reminded me that even though that is what I have done, it is not who I am. I am a strong, honest and courageous man. That is who God has called me to be and that is how he desires me to live. Like Jacob, after he wrestled with God he walked in a way that reflected his battle with God. Though Jacob limped physically, I am finding myself limping emotionally. I don't think the wrestling match is over but I am finding a new resolve to hold on to God until I find that blessing. I refuse to be what I have been or live according to my old self. I will continue to wrestle and I will not let go. I don't know when I will come out on the other side, but I know I will and I know God is at work. So don't be afraid to be alone and don't be afraid to wrestle. Hold on tight and get ready to be changed.
Peace
Ralph
24 Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But he said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." 27 So he said to him, "What is your name?"
Have you ever wrestled with God? Being alone seems to be a prime time to wrestle with God. It is at that point of being away from outside influences that you often find yourself wrestling with God. The interesting thing about Jacob's encounter with God is two-fold. First, Jacob was so determined to be blessed that he would not give up. I, like Jacob, want to be so desperate for God's blessings (wisdom, understanding, peace, etc.) that I am unwilling to give up until I find that blessing. The second thing that strikes me about Jacob's encounter is that his divine wrestling partner asks him his name. I find that so interesting because at that point Jacob could not hide who he was. Jacob (deceiver) was more than just his name, it was his way of life. He had been a deceiver his whole life. He was marked by his choices of deception. In this encounter, God does not shame or reject Jacob, He simply wants to make sure Jacob understands who he has been. Once Jacob proclaims who he has been (deceiver) God then gives him a new name and a new identity. Instead of being a deceiver he would now be a father of many nations (Israel). As I have been processing this story and thinking about the place I find myself in I too have been wrestling with God. And like Jacob, God has been asking me to understand my identity and who I have been. As I have confessed who I have become God has lovingly reminded me that even though that is what I have done, it is not who I am. I am a strong, honest and courageous man. That is who God has called me to be and that is how he desires me to live. Like Jacob, after he wrestled with God he walked in a way that reflected his battle with God. Though Jacob limped physically, I am finding myself limping emotionally. I don't think the wrestling match is over but I am finding a new resolve to hold on to God until I find that blessing. I refuse to be what I have been or live according to my old self. I will continue to wrestle and I will not let go. I don't know when I will come out on the other side, but I know I will and I know God is at work. So don't be afraid to be alone and don't be afraid to wrestle. Hold on tight and get ready to be changed.
Peace
Ralph
Friday, July 11, 2008
Are You Burning?
I have been teaching a study group on 1 Corinthians. It has been a great, but challenging study. Today we studied chapter 9. At the end of the chapter Paul talks about his passion for preaching the gospel
24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run R354 in such a way that you may win. 25 Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air.
I am constantly struck by Paul's passion and commitment to the task he was called to. Earlier in the verse he say he would rather die than stop what he is doing. As I read those words I am challenged as to my passion. Most days it feels like I am going through the motions with very little fire or passion. I live my life but it feels like I am missing something. It feels like I am just surviving.
A few weeks ago I viewed the new Pixar movie called Wall-E. In the movie there is a scene where the people have evacuated earth because it has become unable to sustain life. After several years of living in the safety of there space home wall-e discovers that there is proof that life once again exists on earth. The captain of the ship is filled with hope because they can return to earth once again. However there are other forces on the ship that want to stop the ship from returning. The pivotal scene takes place where the captain is told that they need to stay on the ship so they can survive. The captain says "I don't want to survive, I want to live". That line echoed so deeply in my heart and reflects the truth Paul proclaims in 1 Corinthians. Paul lived his life in a way that could lead to pain, imprisonment and death. He lived with reckless passion with little concern for his personal safety or well being. Paul did not play it safe. He wanted his life to matter, he wanted to live not survive.
The question that you and I must wrestle with, is the question of passion. Are we living our life with fire, with passion, with reckless abandon? Are we, like Paul, running to win? If I am not careful, I can easily settle into comfort and habit. I like predictability and uniformity. I like knowing what to expect from myself and others. I can survive very easily like this. However, what I discover is that within a very short time I feel bored and empty. Surviving is not how our life was meant to be lived. We were made for purpose, for passion, for life. How are you living you life? Are you surviving or are you living? Are you running to win or are you OK with just showing up? I am wrestling with myself to find that place of passion. Am I OK with just settling or do I want to step out and run? Passion and fire are OK to talk about, but the truth of the matter is they can also create friction and pain. If you follow passion, it's not always comfortable or easy. You will be stretched, challenged and moved. But in the end if you follow the passion God has put into your heart you will find yourself in the midst of a place of amazing life and joy. So what's it going to be, survive or live? The only person stopping you from following your passion is you.
Think about it!
Peace
Ralph
24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run R354 in such a way that you may win. 25 Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air.
I am constantly struck by Paul's passion and commitment to the task he was called to. Earlier in the verse he say he would rather die than stop what he is doing. As I read those words I am challenged as to my passion. Most days it feels like I am going through the motions with very little fire or passion. I live my life but it feels like I am missing something. It feels like I am just surviving.
A few weeks ago I viewed the new Pixar movie called Wall-E. In the movie there is a scene where the people have evacuated earth because it has become unable to sustain life. After several years of living in the safety of there space home wall-e discovers that there is proof that life once again exists on earth. The captain of the ship is filled with hope because they can return to earth once again. However there are other forces on the ship that want to stop the ship from returning. The pivotal scene takes place where the captain is told that they need to stay on the ship so they can survive. The captain says "I don't want to survive, I want to live". That line echoed so deeply in my heart and reflects the truth Paul proclaims in 1 Corinthians. Paul lived his life in a way that could lead to pain, imprisonment and death. He lived with reckless passion with little concern for his personal safety or well being. Paul did not play it safe. He wanted his life to matter, he wanted to live not survive.
The question that you and I must wrestle with, is the question of passion. Are we living our life with fire, with passion, with reckless abandon? Are we, like Paul, running to win? If I am not careful, I can easily settle into comfort and habit. I like predictability and uniformity. I like knowing what to expect from myself and others. I can survive very easily like this. However, what I discover is that within a very short time I feel bored and empty. Surviving is not how our life was meant to be lived. We were made for purpose, for passion, for life. How are you living you life? Are you surviving or are you living? Are you running to win or are you OK with just showing up? I am wrestling with myself to find that place of passion. Am I OK with just settling or do I want to step out and run? Passion and fire are OK to talk about, but the truth of the matter is they can also create friction and pain. If you follow passion, it's not always comfortable or easy. You will be stretched, challenged and moved. But in the end if you follow the passion God has put into your heart you will find yourself in the midst of a place of amazing life and joy. So what's it going to be, survive or live? The only person stopping you from following your passion is you.
Think about it!
Peace
Ralph
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