Forgiveness

Today Pastor Timmy of OLF discussed the concept of forgiveness and how it impacts our sense of well being and happiness. I think he was right on as he discussed the idea of practicing forgiveness whether we feel like it or not. He also discussed the idea of forgiveness not being the same as forgetting. All of these things were right on and I encourage you if you didn't have a chance to hear the message go on to http://www.olathelifefellowship.org/ and watch the message. However, one of the things that I have discovered is the hardest thing to do in regards to forgiveness is forgiving yourself. For years I have been able to quickly forgive those who have hurt me but the one thing I have struggled with is finding it possible to forgive myself for making mistakes. I would always hold myself to a higher standard and never give myself the room to be real and to make mistakes. Because of that I would live in a world of guilt, shame, and condemnation. After all, as a pastor I should know better and, I believed, should never make a mistake. This cycle of guilt, shame and condemnation kept me in an unhealthy place that kept me from honesty, openness, and relationship. Their was that tape playing in the back of my mind that continued to tell me that if anyone really knew me they would not accept me or value me. The idea of personal forgiveness is so powerful and so key that many people, like myself, never get to that point. They can offer forgiveness to everyone but themselves. It wasn't until I was able to go through Breakthrough and discover the power of self forgiveness that I was able to discover a new found freedom and ability to open honest and vulnerable. Since that time I have been able to develop close friendships, and become vulnerable like I was never able to do before. I encourage you today that if you have been struggling to find forgiveness for yourself to find a way out. Unforgiveness will continue to haunt you and cause you to live a life so beneath what God has for you. As you start to find forgiveness and find enough value in yourself to offer this gift you will start to find a freedom like never before. If you care to dialog about this issue then I encourage you to bring it on. I don't have all the answers but I know the path I have traveled and I am more than willing to share my story and where this journey has led me. You are valued and you are worth it. Until then keep living this journey.

Peace,
Ralph