Fear

I had the privilege of listening to Dr. Paul Fitzgerald this week. The topic of his discussion was fear. He asked the question "What would it feel like to live a day without fear". As I thought about that question my response was it will feel like freedom. Now many others in the group had different thoughts on fear but for me, it seems like fear often effects what I do, think, or feel. I know that it shouldn't and I know that scripture says perfect love casts out all fear but many of my actions or lack of action are motivated by fear. It was interesting as Dr. Paul drilled down deeper and kept asking clarifying questions regarding what the root of the fear was. As he asked the questions and as I answered, in my head, the root seemed to boil down to the fact that my fears were rooted in the fear that I would find myself alone and unloved for the rest of my life. And so my actions and fears were all tied to that one thought. The thought that if I did, or did not do certain things I would be alone. I think that is a fear that haunts many of us. The thought that we will die isolated and alone. For me I know it stems from the old tapes that I have allowed to play in my mind. The tapes that say you will never make it, you will never be loved, you will never be enough. Now I know that sounds pretty pathetic, but I think this fear is at the heart of all of our fears. It is this truth, or should I say the lie, that keeps all of us from connecting with one another. It keeps us from creating community. It keeps us from intimacy. It causes us to lie and to hide. It keeps us paralyzed. Now I know that I am more than enough. I now that I am loved by God and there is nothing or no one who can stop God's love for me. I understand the truth that God is head over heels in love with me. But if I were honest, there are times that, by my thoughts and actions, communicate that I want more. This fear drives me, and all of us, to a place that communicates that God's love is not enough. I am trying to wrestle with this fear through sharing my heart and jumping in community. If you are reading this and are wrestling with fear I challenge you to share you heart and put yourself in a place where you can be real. Let's process and journey together.

Peace